Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Vunerable or Free


I have been going to a womans bible study group with the woman from my church and we are reading the book "Captivating". This has got me to thinking about my self and women or mommies in general. Do you ever feel like you are hiding behind your kids, like when you go somewhere without them you feel like something is just missing. Maybe because we get used to the crazyness and busyness of life whith them that when for some reason they are not there something seems out of balance. I have thought about this and have wondered if I am feeling vulnerable without them around. Like I feel important and needed with them but am not sure of who I am or what my purpose is without them. I believe I am going through a season of finding out what God's purpose is in my life, as a woman, as me His daughter. I wonder if there are others who feel this way. Do you feel exposed or vulnerable without your children around or do you feel free and liberated? Or do you have a healthy balance of feeling needed but hey it's great to be free to be me alone sometimes? I enjoy my alone time (whenever I can get it). But I know it is important to have an understanding of who God wants us to be, not only as wife and mother but also as a woman.
Ok...I must say...after a long day, there is something liberating about kids that fall asleep in the car before you've even leave the party. My kids had a joint birthday party with family and friends in CA. before we moved. And my mom had rented a "bounce castle". Well I think they bounced to their hearts content! Cause we hadn't even started the car..I hadn't even buckled the little one in. Isn't that nice...I wish every day ended so smooth.

2 comments:

Michelle said...

You know Kelly, I enjoy reading your post! Cute picture, and I would have to say I feel liberated when the kiddos are not with me. But thats me.
luvya

Yellow Mama said...

Kelly,

I was a stay at home mom until the last year or so. I long for the days when I can go to my son's parties at school...help out...have lunch with a friend. Even though I have some flexibility, I am in a different season...the season of my husband building his insurance business.

But, I think most women at some time question if what they are doing is enough for them and if what they are feeling is envy, emptiness, unthankfulness, or just a blue day. I believe God takes us through seasons in our lives where change is necessary to take us to the next level He's calling us to...

I am also in a season change and it is often uncomfortable, frightening and exciting at the same time.

The Lord keeps telling me to take what is in my hand...the same advice He gave Moses. Sometimes when we are looking for purpose, the seeds to finding that purpose are right in our hand.

Take a look at your heart's desires and add to that what you believe God is telling you. Then ask Him what is the next step.

Sometimes it is as easy as this...if a person wants to learn to sing, perhaps singing around the house is the first step. It is like anything...take the first step. Vision is typically for the long haul...a long goal. The daily steps to get to that goal are sometimes more simple than we want to believe.

I pray you find what you need to be doing and enjoy your time with your kids...it goes by fast.

Blessings